Tag: boyfriend
Saturday, October 23rd, 2010
Day 155: No Sex
So before I get to “reality dude” . . . I know a lot of you have been wondering what the heck happened with my sexually uninterested boyfriend . . .
Well that “thing,” whatever it was . . . has all but fizzled out into a speck of non-existence.
I couldn’t ever possibly explain, describe, or attempt to define that catastrophic mystery of a relationship . . .
It initiated like a blazing fire . . . and then like a candle with it’s mortal wick; burned through Continue reading Blog #13: Phone Call From Reality Dude
Tags: 80's movies, affection, attractive, beau, bikini, boyfriend, boys, cocky, dating, ego, female, guy, insecurities, lass, love affair, myspace, obsessed, phone call, rack, reality dude, relationship, sexually uninterested, stripper, womanizer
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Thursday, September 30th, 2010
Day 132: No Sex
So if you have missed me, I am thoroughly sorry for not having blogged sooner.
Life has been somewhat chaotic, however please do accept my apologies while I (admittedly) marvel and grovel in the fact that I have actually been missed . . .
Being missed is quite an important and underrated form of affection you know . . .
It is that appreciated affirmation that your existence on earth is not entirely and completely in vain.
I know a few of you have actually Continue reading Blog #11: Reality Stars, Lawyers, and Cancer Sticks
Tags: A-list actor, absurd, actor, affection, bedroom, box office, boyfriend, cancer sticks, cathartic, celebrity, chaotic, coffee house, commercials, creative, dating, destined, dramatically, dreams, egomaniac, emotionally, entertainment, exploitations, famous model, female, film, gratuitous, grovel, healing, Hollywood, L.A., lawyer, Los Angelene, Los Angeles, love, lover, Lucky Lopez, male anatomy, marvel, misfortunes, movies, music videos, musician, passion, PG-13, Pink Dialogue, producer, reality star, reality TV star, relationship, ridiculous, screenplay, sexual, star, Texan, Texas, thrills, tree hugging, true love, woes, writer
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Thursday, September 16th, 2010
Day 118: No Sex
So I have decided to take a vacation from my “no-sex” obsession and attempt to find passion in other areas of my life.
I have realized that any attempt to reverse my current sexless situation is depressingly futile.
As far as the Max “thing” is concerned – I think I can count on becoming the first Latina president of the United States more than I can the possibility of that boy being any sort of a consistent option.
. . .
I still have not heard from him since he kissed Continue reading Blog #10: Anatomy Revelations
Tags: anatomies, anatomy, beloved, Bethoven, boyfriend, brunch, but cheeks, curling iron, depressingly, drunk, ed, feminine, girlfriends, kiss, Latina president, Los Angelenes, Los Angeles, Lucky Lopez, men, mimosas, misconception, movie, naked, NOHO, Obsession, pedicures, penis, penises, penisless, pink Converse, pregnancy, romping, screenplay, sexless, sexual, skinny jeans, sloshed drunk, vagina, Virgin, women
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Tuesday, September 7th, 2010
Day 109: No Sex
It has been a week since I last saw Max, and we shared a hot mini make-out session in my car – post too many beers.
Admittedly, I have thought of him more than once since then . . .
Okay, like every ten minutes . . .
But I promise, every time I think of him I force myself to stop, until of course – an additional ten minutes elapses . . . and then I find myself repeating the vicious cycle.
I have not heard from Max since that infamous night.
Subsequently – this “insignificant” little detail has (of course) caused me to become Continue reading Blog #9: Limp Spaghetti, Cold Fish, and No Sex
Tags: affection, beau, boyfriend, cabana boy, cabernet, cuddle, cupcake, hot, kiss, law school, lingerie, lips, luscious, make-out, neurotic, obsessive, passion, penis, relationship, savory, self-esteem, sex, sexy
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Wednesday, September 1st, 2010
Day 103: No Sex
So I made my way down to Sunset Boulevard.
Destination: Stag
Victim: Max
I laughed out loud in my car several times considering the heinousness of my college-like crusade:
A 30-something lawyer heading to a sleazy bar eroded with immature adolescents whose primary responsibilities include looking hot, getting drunk and Continue reading Blog #8: Eating a Delicious Man Cupcake
Tags: 30, alcoholic, Aries, beer, bold, boyfriend, bullshit, carrot cake, caveman, chick, chocolate, college, cougar, cupcake, cupcakes, cute, dark chocolate, delicious, destinies, dramatic, drunk, enjoyable, fluffy, heaven, heels, hooking up, hot, insecurity, intoxicated, kiss, law school, lawyer, lips, lovers, Lucky Lopez, man, manly-man, masculine, moist, muffin, muscular, naked, nutty, perfect, philosophy, relationships, savory, self-esteem, sex, sexless, skirts, sleazy, strawberry, strong, Sunset Boulevard, sweet, sweet.butter cream, thirty, tipsy, vanilla
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Tuesday, August 24th, 2010
Day 95: No Sex
So the day finally arrived that I was scheduled to meet Max for lunch at “Bisous” in West Hollywood . . .
For those of you non-French speakers (like me), “Bisous” is the French word for “kiss.”
When I say “Bisous,” I sound like a really bad B movie actress – noticeably deficient of the skills required to simulate sexy foreign accents . . .
However when I imagine Max saying it . . . I picture his beautifully puckered strawberry stained Continue reading Blog #7: Underage
Tags: 30-something, awkward teenager, B movie, bad 80's hair band, beer, boyfriend, cabana boy, cappuccino, cheeseburger, coffee, dewy, fashionably late, flirtatious, footsies, girlfriend, heart, heartbreak, hot college boy, hot-man-boy, inviting, kiss, L.A., lip gloss, lips, Lucky Lopez, moist, passionately, piercing, relationship, sexually charged, soft, sorority hug, tragic, West Hollywood, wine slut
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Sunday, August 15th, 2010
Day 86: No Sex
So it has been a week since I last saw “Mr. Abercrombie” Max and we shared our way too innocent (for my taste) rendezvous at that cute little French bistro in West Hollywood.
I tried to put the event behind me, knowing that the pursuit of anything further would be an extremely imprudent choice.
However earlier this week, I was surprised to find a piece of college loose leaf paper with Max’s Continue reading Blog #6: “Unfaithful”?
Tags: Abercrombie model, afterglow, botox, boyfriend, calories, cheap thrill, crush-stricken, cursed scale, desirable, desperate, devour, discreet, erotic echoes, eye-candy, eyes, foot massage, fragile ego, French bistro, hands, heart, hot, impossibilities, impossible, impulsive, insatiably kissable, intimately, irresponsible, legend worthy, lips, Lucky Lopez, manly-man, no-sex, pathetic, perfection, phone number, pounds, reckless, relationship, sex, sex deficient, sexier, sexiness, sexless, sexual prowess, sexually, sexually deprived, sexy, strawberry stained, sugar mamma, testosterone, tremble inducing, unfaithful, West Hollywood
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Saturday, August 7th, 2010
(Cont’d from “Sexless Cougar Meets Unsuspecting Cub”)
Day 78: No Sex
Have you ever seen a male specimen approach you that was created so perfectly in every way – it’s as if an Abercrombie model spontaneously came to life out of a NY billboard ad and decided to grace you with his presence?
Well, if you haven’t been so lucky, 
I am here to inform you that it is a damn incredible, jaw dropping, great substitute for 78 days of no sex – experience.
When Max entered Continue reading Blog #5: To Taste Strawberry Stained Lips . .
Tags: 20-somethings, 30-something, Abercrombie model, Audrey Hepburn, beautiful, blonde, boyfriend, cabana boy, cellulite, chiseled, college, college chick, crow's feet, debonair, embarrassing, endearing, eye-candy, fantasy, friend for convenience, friend with benefits, greasy tacos, hangover, hot, hot-man-boy, immature, jaw dropping, kissable lips, liquor-deficient, low-rise jeans, Lucky, Lucky Lopez, Luke Skywalker, luscious, male specimen, manlier, mojito, nervous, painful zit, platonic friend, rocker t-shirt, Secret, seduced, self esteem issues, self-esteem, sex, sex-repressed, sexier, sexual depravity, sexy, skinny, smirk, sorority hug, strawberry stained, sultry, tall, tan
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Saturday, July 31st, 2010
DAY 71: No Sex
So I have decided to put a temporary pause on my assorted attempts to encourage my boyfriend to want to have sex with me.
My recent efforts have been futile, and I have come to the painful realization that maybe sometimes less is more, . . . except when it comes to having sex (of course).
Maybe I am simply a victim of that cursed “self fulfilling prophecy” – my insecurities having so deeply damaged my Continue reading Blog #4: Sexless Cougar Meets Unsuspecting Cub
Tags: 20-something, 30-something, approval, blush, boyfriend, break-up, cellulite, college, commitment, cougar, cub, dating, desirable, Dialogue, engagement, eye-candy, Frederick's, girl, guilty, Hollywood, hot, hunky, innocence, insecurities, L.A., lingerie, Los Angeles, Lucky Lopez, maintenance, manhood, mani, pedi, perfume, phobic, Pink, pity, pleasure, school, Secret, self, self-esteem, sex, sexually, sexy, thirty-something, twenty-something, vagina, Victoria's Secret, wardrobe
Posted in Blog Posts, Relationships, Sex | 2 Comments »
Friday, July 16th, 2010
Day 56: No Sex
Lesson #1: Never spend too much money on lingerie that may never be removed, noticed, or acknowledged by your beau.
So here I am – back to the (sex) drawing board.
It has been a week since I last sat here, spewing like a cheesy telenovela star about my in-the-bedroom misfortunes – convinced that Continue reading Blog #2: Lucky Lopez’s Lesson #1:
Tags: beau, bed, boob, boyfriend, Dialogue, dream, Frederick's, friends, girly, guy, Hollywood, in bed, insatiable, intimate, L.A., lingerie, Los Angeles, Lucky Lopez, naked, naughty, of, perslexed, Pink, prowess, Secret, seductress, sex, sexfinity, sexually, sexy, tanned, tones, Victoria's, virginal
Posted in Blog Posts, Relationships, Sex | 1 Comment »
