My sex life is certainly NOT like the movies, . . . I just wish it was ~ Lucky Lopez

Tag: L.A.

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

Blog #11: Reality Stars, Lawyers, and Cancer Sticks

Day 132:  No Sex

So if you have missed me, I am thoroughly sorry for not having blogged sooner.

Life has been somewhat chaotic, however please do accept my apologies while I (admittedly) marvel and grovel in the fact that I have actually been missed . . .

Being missed is quite an important and underrated form of affection you know . . .

It is that appreciated affirmation that your existence on earth is not entirely and completely in vain.

I know a few of you have actually Continue reading Blog #11: Reality Stars, Lawyers, and Cancer Sticks

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Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

Blog #7: Underage

Day 95:  No Sex

So the day finally arrived that I was scheduled to meet Max for lunch at “Bisous” in West Hollywood . . .

For those of you non-French speakers (like me), “Bisous” is the French word for “kiss.”

When I say “Bisous,” I sound like a really bad B movie actress – noticeably deficient of the skills required to simulate sexy foreign accents . . .

However when I imagine Max saying it . . . I picture his beautifully puckered strawberry stained Continue reading Blog #7: Underage

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Saturday, July 31st, 2010

Blog #4: Sexless Cougar Meets Unsuspecting Cub

DAY 71:  No Sex

So I have decided to put a temporary pause on my assorted attempts to encourage my boyfriend to want to have sex with me.

My recent efforts have been futile, and I have come to the painful realization that maybe sometimes less is more,  . . .  except when it comes to having sex (of course).

Maybe I am simply a victim of that cursed “self fulfilling prophecy” – my insecurities having so deeply damaged my Continue reading Blog #4: Sexless Cougar Meets Unsuspecting Cub

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Friday, July 23rd, 2010

Blog #3: Lucky Lopez’s Lesson #2

Day 63:  No Sex

Never assume that a prized technique that consistently works on one man, will work on another.

So I have now survived 2 months and 1 week – trudging through the desperate dessert sands of my sexual drought.

My boyfriend (of 3 months) and I have not had sex in 63 long, frustrating days.

The continual mystery is that Continue reading Blog #3: Lucky Lopez’s Lesson #2

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Friday, July 16th, 2010

Blog #2: Lucky Lopez’s Lesson #1:

Day 56:  No Sex

Lesson #1:  Never spend too much money on lingerie that may never be removed, noticed, or acknowledged by your beau.

So here I am – back to the (sex) drawing board.

It has been a week since I last sat here, spewing like a cheesy telenovela star about my in-the-bedroom misfortunes – convinced that Continue reading Blog #2: Lucky Lopez’s Lesson #1:

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Friday, July 9th, 2010

Blog #1: My Sexless World

Day 49:  No Sex

Hello World!  Welcome to my chatter blog.

My name is Lucky Lopez.

I live in the land of realized and broken dreams where the possibilities of life are enslaved to the nebulous concept of “luck,” . . . where burnt orange is the preferred “shade” in a complexion, and Friday night’s most desired destination is determined by the number of overeager paparazzi Continue reading Blog #1: My Sexless World

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